Does The Birth Mom Want An Open Adoption? Factors That Need To Be Defined Before Agreeing To An Open Adoption
Posted on: 30 September 2019
Open adoptions are becoming more and more common. There are benefits to both the birth mother and the adopted child, as they are able to have a relationship and learn about each other. However, the term "open adoption" is a fairly vague term and can be open to interpretation. If you are working with an adoption agency to adopt from a birth mother who would like an open adoption, there are factors that you need to define on paper before agreeing to an open adoption to ensure everyone is on the same page and understands. Here are some of those factors.
What an Open Adoption Means to Both Parties
The first thing that you want to define when agreeing to an open adoption is what exactly the term "open adoption" means to all parties, what types of contact will be allowed, and the frequency of the contact. For some people, an open adoption means that the mother will be allowed to see pictures of the child and may be allowed to send cards or emails to the child. In other cases, an open adoption may include monthly or yearly visits between the child and the birth mom. Ensure that everyone agrees to what it means and what type of contact is allowed.
When Can Contact Be Cut Off
Another factor that you want to be defined is under what circumstances contact can be cut off. If the birth mother commits a crime or fails a drug test, you want to ensure that contact can be terminated. Defining this ahead of time and ensuring it is in the agreement helps to prevent problems down the road.
What Happens If One or More Parties Move Away
As your lives and the birth mother's lives change, one or both of you may move away. While you may not be planning on this right now, it is important to ensure there is a plan in place in case this happens. Can the birth mother travel to your state to continue having a visit with their birth child or will you bring the birth child to visit them once or twice a year? Take the time to plan ahead.
What Age the Child Gets a Say in the Contact
Finally, be sure to define what age the child gets a say in the type of contact that they have and how frequently they have contact. If the child is 12 and they do not feel comfortable with the visits, do you continue them or do you abide by the child's wishes? Or, if the child is 14 and they want to call their birth mother to ask questions, can they? Set forth an age at which the child can begin to have a say in the open adoption and the contact they have.
A great adoption agency can work with both you and the birth mother to put together an open adoption plan that all parties agree to while making sure all boundaries are defined. This can help to prevent any miscommunications in the future and ensure that everyone is on the same page about what to expect in terms of communication from the open adoption.
Reach out to an adoption agency near you to learn more.
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